In painting this portrait I realized that everything was rhetorical. The answers lied within, even more so if I was going to be instinctively true to myself.
My portrait would be my autobiography, present self and almost an obituary. As in the moment it came to be my essence would have already evolved. That I am not only a concentrated form of substance collated from extrinsic experiences. But much more, "I am".
Thus over the years I have developed a particular style of painting, that I find rewarding creatively and personally. It is this style that I feel evokes my inner self, that makes this evolving portrait special to me.
The faces that integrate into the entire face I call the, What if's"' and "If Only's" of my life. In its entirety I indulge the feeling of anticipation.
It is difficult to pursue such a piece with a personal cognition to it is almost like it makes one internalize vulnerability. My strengths, weaknesses and fears are portrayed as the person, "I am".
I hope that you continue with me on my journey as I carry on painting this portrait and more of its meaning.
|The "what ifs and If only's", of my life.|
|Family these are the things that bind.|
|There is never a hole so deep that you can't claw your way out of.|
|The war I have waged against the world is the one I have waged against myself.|
The tides' shore, echoed of its past season and yet each repeatedly was the same.
It was with each roll of the tide, it ate out its own surrounds and brought about its own change.
For it seems so uncontrolled that it potentially could be fate.
But in such a world of chaos, how come so many things relate?
It is taken for granted as faith, that it will always be there.
But as the sky's turn dark and the sea's turn Grey.
We will be forced to be in order to see, that mankind is not nor could be.
Capable of controlling the tides of the shores of our destiny.
For the earth has never sinned and God has seen in his heart that it was us.
So as the scourge that scorched the soil, we also shall turn to dust....Edward Blum.
|On the day I began to live, I also began to die.|
Being a collective of the universe and my place in time. I can honour my existence by being a mirror reflecting my surrounds or a window in which light may pass. Mirrors are deceptive an illusion, most people are not aware that the are looking at themselves right hand reversed. I often wonder are we not also upside down?